Defining the Average Female’s Orgasm.
So What Exactly is the Average Female’s Orgasm Like?
Everyone knows what female orgasms are, but actually defining them has confused people for decades. Even the noted scientist Alfred Kinsey (The author of some of the most important books on the subject) had to stop using certain kinds of women in his experiments because they faked orgasm so well that even he couldn`t tell the difference.
Orgasms for Women
When a woman has an orgasm a couple of key things happen. Firstly her body is stimulated and the sensation starts to build up. Next her limbic system (The regulating part of our body that we have no control over) takes control, guiding the muscles to contract in the lower pelvis this is true of all females. Orgasm causes the contraction of a particular muscle in the lower pelvis called the pubococcygeus. This muscle is the same one that Kegel exercises work out, which is why doing these exercises leads to increased orgasmic control. As these muscles stretch all the way from the vagina to the anus, the anus may also open and close as the orgasm happens.
The best part about the average female’s orgasm is that it is a reflex. For guys this means that any technique that stimulates the penis correctly will cause orgasm. Logically the same should be true for women: stroke the clitoris and hey presto she orgasms. Unfortunately this isn`t the whole picture for women or women as there is a strong mental orgasm connection that requires both physical and psychological stimulation to have orgasms.
Physical Changes after Female’s Orgasm
Because of all these intense changes, her heart rate usually skyrockets. This is one of the ways that Kinsey himself overcame his problem of knowing when people were faking or not. By monitoring the heart rate of his test subjects, he could generally distinguish the real orgasms, no matter how .
One of the key differences between the average male’s and female’s orgasm occurs right after cuming. Unfortunately men go into what is called the refractory period right after an orgasm. In the refractory period it becomes physically impossible for the man to ejaculate again, no matter how much stimulation his partner gives him.
For the woman this is very different, right after the orgasm she is pumped full of hormones such as oxytocin and prolactin that make her feel `loved up` and happy. She then has little or no refractory period before she is ready to go again. In fact female multiple orgasm is the norm for most women. This means that the woman can keep going until her partner ejaculates, which is why skills like the male multiple orgasm is so useful to practice.
Understanding how most female’s orgasm can tell you a lot about the things that are true for all women. I call these the ‘universals.’ Once you know the universals then you can start to understand what things are unique especially for your partner.
How to: Female Multiple Orgasm
How to Give Her a Female Multiple Orgasm
We owe a lot to Alfred Kinsey. In the conservative forties and fifties, a time when discussion of orgasms was still taboo, he was to be found risking his professional reputation in his lab observing people having sex. Lots of sex! His notes includes commentary on every aspect of the sexual experience. One day he was observing the couple having sex in his laboratory and he noticed something strange. The woman didn’t just have 1 orgasm, but 4 orgasms in a session. He began to look for other women and soon he found many women who could have multiple orgasms. Inspired by previous research by the scientists Boas and Goldschmidt, he published his data about the prevalence of female multiple orgasm.
And it was met with derision and skepticism!
These days we know that female multiple orgasm is actually quite common and most women can achieve it. What is surprising therefore is how few guys have actually done it! Therefore for anyone who’d like to give their girl a night to really remember, this how to article is for you.
Multiple Orgasm 101
Many people worry that the female multiple orgasm requires some kind of magical technique, but in fact the same techniques that you use to give your partner orgasms can be used to give her a multiple orgasm. The female multiple orgasm relies instead on you knowing her rhythms and how she responds when she is turned-on.
One of the key differences is that after the first orgasm, many women enter a period where they can’t be touched. Guys are used to their own bodies where it takes a long time before they are able to go again, when with women it is actually a relatively short time. Try just kissing and her body after an orgasm and you will be amazed how soon afterward she is ready to go again. The difference is in allowing her to let you know with her actions when she is ready again.
After the First Orgasm
The best part is that each orgasm makes it easier for her to have the next one.
Usually the easiest way to do it is to make the first orgasm a clitoris orgasm. There are a few reasons for this. Obviously clitoris orgasms allow her to get wetter and more turned on (Starting on the G-spot can be uncomfortable if she isn’t ready to be penetrated). In addition it is also a good idea to start with the clitoris as it is usually a less intense orgasm than G-spot orgasms so it feels as if the orgasms are ‘building-up’.
The great thing about the female multiple orgasm is that you can really keep her guessing by giving her orgasms in a variety of different ways: mixing giving oral sex, with mutual masturbation and intercourse orgasms you can keep her eagerly expecting what comes next. Once you can confidently mix all of those kinds of orgasms then you can go for the ‘magic three’: female multiple orgasm featuring a clitoris orgasm, G-spot orgasm and an ejaculation orgasm (Squirt orgasm).
Having a Better Orgasm
Having a Better Orgasm is All in Her Head
The year is 1950 and the scientists Klumbies and Kleinsorge are watching a woman come to orgasm. They are both secretly worried: the 40′s were one of the most conservative periods in history and there is little evidence that things are going to change. Knowing that they face risks of being accused of sexual impropriety or worse still a sex crime, the two scientists have come up with a solution to recording a naked, masturbating woman. Their subject described only as the ‘hypersexual woman’ is a woman who can have orgasms entirely by using her mind. Not just single orgasms, but multiple female orgasms without any ‘physical interference’ at all.
Logically this is impossible as clitoris orgasm is a reflex caused by stimulating either the clitoris or the G-spot. Orgasms without either kind of stimulation don’t make sense. How could a woman have an orgasm entirely using her mind? And more importantly, what can we learn from this case that will help us give our partner a better orgasm?
Using the Mind to Have a Better Orgasm.
The mechanism behind orgasms still remains under-researched and unknown. However it seems likely that they are not just figments of Klumbie and Kleinsorge’s imaginations, but a very unusual type of orgasm. To find out where these orgasms come from we have to temporarily leave the world of science.
Breathing has long been associated with orgasm and there are many groups all over the world who teach women how to become orgasmic using only concentrated breathing. Many of these groups are associated with an ancient religious philosophy called Tantra that includes breathing exercises for controlling orgasm. Mostly the technique involves breathing in a similar way to the way you breathe during sex, so that the body goes into orgasm as the breath comes more quickly and excitedly. While a lot of these practices are esoteric, their followers are convinced that anyone can train their sexual response to have a better orgasm.
An equally interesting alternative was suggested by sex commentator Mary Roach. In her book she observes that the woman in the study was entirely using fantasy and suggest that it may have been entirely in the woman’s mind. It has long been known that imagining doing sports moves causes the muscle to move im a similar way to if they were actually performing the action, therefore it is possible that a lot of women may be able to do the same thing. Muscular contractions are one of the main sources of orgasm and have even been reported as a pleasant byproduct of Kegel exercises.
Giving Her Multiple Orgasms with Thought.
This shows that there is a strong mental element to having a better orgasm. The more important question is how to use it. Next time you are with your partner, think about how you could keep her both mentally and physically excited. Whisper erotic fantasies to her, describing them in intimate detail so she can imagine being there or build anticipation for your touch by telling her where you are going to touch her. Who knows you could give her the first orgasm before you even get home.
Mental Orgasm Pleasure
Non-contact Orgasms for Orgasm Pleasure
When many people think of giving a woman an orgasm, pleasure comes mostly from drawn-out foreplay followed by giving good oral sex leading up to a big orgasm. However women are a lot more complicated than that! Each woman has a variety of different triggers that will make her orgasm. A lot of them are physical and involve touching the right part at the right time. The other side is the mental side which can lead to some surprising techniques to make a woman orgasm such as breast or even teeth orgasms! The psychological component can be so strong in some women that they can orgasm without any touch at all.
Making Love With Her Mind
Stories about things that pushed already excited women over the edge into orgasm are abundant in medical literature. One of the most famous was discovered by the famous Alfred Kinsey who recorded a woman being moved to orgasm by having her eyebrows stroked. This was not the only unusual case. He also recorded a woman who enjoyed having her gums stroked to orgasm. Pleasure was mostly mental as the gums are definitely not connected to any major female erogenous zones. It seems that once a woman has been brought to the peak of excitement there are lots of unusual ways to get her to then orgasm.
After the orgasm some interesting things happen. Once her body starts to associate a body part with the orgasm, pleasure can lead to it becoming a ‘trigger’ where stimulation of that place in the future causes a shortcut to the part of the brain that is responsible for sexual pleasure. If a woman has a particular strong ‘trigger’ associated with an area she can have an orgasm from the slightest touch there. This is one explanation for these unusual orgasms as the woman may have accidentally trained herself to make these mental associations during masturbation.
Orgasms without Touch
Rarer still are non-contact orgasms where women have an orgasm without any physical stimulation. These orgasms are mostly due to breathing in a way that causes orgasm, tensing your muscles in an orgasmic way to make your brain behave in an orgasmic way or intense mental stimulation that bypasses the usual route. Basically you ensure that all the criteria for an orgasm are there except the touch. The existence of these kind of orgasms shows how important the mental side of sex is, especially when you consider how often lovers forget it entirely!
That is why we at Complete Orgasm Guide recommend that you learn the techniques that work on all women and then experiment to find what works for her uniquely. This includes having some fun and keeping your eyes open for any unusual parts that she touches or stroke when she is really turned on. You never know what might be her ultimate turn-on.
Women’s Orgasms and Their Health Benefits
The Health Benefits of Women’s Orgasms
Anyone who has ever gone without sex for a length of time realizes pretty quickly that orgasms are important! Psychological textbooks are filled with ailments that are caused by a lack of sex. Probably what you didn’t realize was just how important they are for her too. Women’s orgasms have long been known to thought to maintain mental well-being in the same way as men, but recent research is showing significant health benefits too.
Women’s Orgasms and Wellbeing
Barry Komisaruk and Beverly Whipple are two of the most prolific sexual researchers in the profession. Recently they turned their efforts towards the health benefits of men’s and women’s orgasms looking at whether the risks of dying from certain diseases is changed by having more orgasms. This has lead to some surprising results. The research suggests that the risk of dying from some of nature’s most deadly illnesses is reduced if people have regular sex.
Orgasm techniques are definitely skills that every guy should know as knowing how to make a woman have an orgasm will give her a reduced risk of breast cancer and a nasty condition called endometriosis. The best part is that she can return the favor and give you a lower risk of heart disease and prostate cancer.
As if that wasn’t enough the researcher Davey Smith discovered that the risk of death over a ten year stretch was significantly lowered in men who enjoyed two or more orgasms a week. While the team didn’t study women’s orgasms, the preliminary results for a similar test with women look promising.
So why do orgasms have all of these health benefits?
Sex, Orgasms and Exercise
There are a couple of potential reasons for these benefits. One of the most commonly mentioned is that sex is a form of exercise and the couples who experience all the health benefits are enjoying a fun way of keeping fit (Sexercise certainly beats the treadmill!). While most doctors agree that sex is only moderate exercise, it definitely has some fitness benefits.
Another suggested reason is that ejaculation and clitoris orgasm causes hormones to be released (Such as oxytocin and testosterone). Many scientists wonder whether these hormones could be leading to the health benefits either by directly affecting the body or indirectly by reducing frustrated feelings and stress.
One thing is for certain that our bodies need the excitement of sexual release. We not only get the benefits of close relationships and enjoyment, but it is one of the keys to a long(er) life and certainly a better one. So there is no excuse to not turn off the T.V. and have a good time with your partner tonight!
How to Increase Orgasm with our Vagina Guide
A Vagina Guide to How to Increase Orgasm Frequency.
Sometimes when I write articles about sex and how to increase orgasm frequency I discover some unusual characters. For every nerdy scientist slaving away in a lab there are a number of completely unique personalities. By far one of the most interesting one is today’s guide, vagina expert Narjani and her discovery of the teleclitoridiennes, mesoclitoridiennes and paraclitoridiennes vagina types.
For a start, Narjani was not the researcher’s real name. It was actually a pseudonym for Princess Marie Bonaparte (A relative of the famous Napoleon) who was married to Prince George. Unable to orgasm for much of her married life, Marie became convinced that there must be physically wrong with women who couldn’t orgasm. She measured women’s vaginas and made a vagina guide to tell women what kind they had and how they could increase orgasms during sex.
Ok, so they may sound like dinosaurs, but understanding the difference between teleclitoridiennes, mesoclitoridiennes and paraclitoridiennes vagina types tells you a lot about women and their chances of having a clitoris orgasm during intercourse.
The Three Kinds of Vagina Guide
Marie divided women into three categories based on the distance between their clitoris and their vagina and whether they can or can’t have an orgasm from intercourse:
Women who had a distance of two and a half centimeters (one inch) or more between the vagina and the clitoris were given the title teleclitoridiennes. By Marie’s estimation about 20% of women match this type. While Bonaparte’s aristocratic upbringing didn’t allow her to state it directly, it seemed that these unfortunates were almost entirely lack orgasm when stimulated by vagina intercourse alone.
The converse were the women whose distance was less than one inch. These were labeled paraclitoridiennes, and these women were highly likely to have a clitoris orgasm during intercourse. According to the noblewoman’s research, this accounts for two-thirds of women. As most modern scientists put the number of women who have intercourse orgasms regularly at about 30% Bonaparte likely got a bit carried away and let her personal convictions interfere with her research. One thing is clear, that because of the short distance, the man’s pelvic/penal movements make contact with her clitoris more often leading to increased orgasms.
The remaining women were the mesoclitoridiennes. These women had a distance between their female erogenous zones that was approximately one inch. For these women the ability to orgasm was due to their partner’s knowledge of how to make a woman have an orgasm.
The ‘Rule of Thumb’ and How to Increase Orgasm in All Vagina Types
An inch is about the size of your thumb so this lead to a later reviewer Kim Wallen in a moment of inspiration to coin the ditty ‘if the distance is less than width of your thumb you are likely to come.’ While it can be difficult to accurately measure the distance, people who like to give oral sex can easily estimate their partner’s morphology.
There is hope for teleclitoridiennes even they can have lots of orgasms if their partner knows what he is doing. Marie Bonaparte (Who was a teleclitoridienne too) decided to experiment as much as she could (This featured four lovers, plus her husband). Eventually she discovered that she had the highest chance of orgasming if the used a seated, face-to-face position.
Subsequent authors such as the noted scientist Van de Velde noted that the raised clitoris was actually an advantage if the woman knew the techniques for giving good oral sex, as the easier access made it easy to give her a pleasure increase increase. Orgasm can also be had by their partner caressing the clitoris during penetration.
Relationship Sex and the Passion Trap
Relationship Sex and the Passion Trap
In a relationship, sex is one of the more important elements. This is mostly because the quality of sex and its quantity tell you a lot about what stage your relationship is in and how healthy it is. Relationships with no sex usually have a lot of problems, so usually I find myself recommending that couples have more sex for longer periods of time. However there is also the other extreme, where large amounts of sex is actually used in a really negative way.
Sex Used for Empowerment
The idea comes from the noted relationship doctor Dean C. Delis and his book the Passion Trap. In this book he talks about how relationships can often have a one-up’ and ‘one-down’ dynamic. The ‘one-up’ is the one who has most of the power in the relationship (It can be either the man or the woman) and the ‘one-down’ is the one who has little control over the relationship and is trying to save it at any cost.
Many of the things that you previously enjoyed in your relationship can be used as a manipulative tool by the ‘one-down’ to try and rectify the power imbalance within the relationship. Sex is just one of many techniques that people use to try and increase their attractiveness and therefore their power in the relationship. Sex can easily be abused and become a parody of itself that is known as ‘hypercourtship.’
Hypercourtship refers to the period where the ‘one-down’ realizes that their partner has more control over the relationship than they do (For example because they are more attractive or having higher status). The ‘one-down’ then desperately tries to address that balance by initiating sex more often and trying hopelessly to please their partner. This is often coupled with other behaviors typical of courtship (Such as a large amount of presents/ telling them you love them all the time), but done in such a needy way that they are too much and stifle the dying flame of passion.
Basically these kinds of techniques fail because sex is being used as a tool for gaining power. This should never be the purpose of sex in a relationship as it turns it into an exploitative act rather than the mutual enjoyable act it should be! Intercourse should never be used as a bargaining chip or as a means of addressing sexual disbalance.
What Role Does Sex Play In Your Relationship?
It is worth taking a little time to think about your current and past relationships. Sex and its role may vary between relationships, but generally:
- Is it used by one person in the relationship to empower themselves over the other consistently?
- Is it always mutually enjoyable?
- Does one partner always initiate sex?
- How do you act after sex? Loving and caring? Needy?
Once you have finished answering those questions, take a good look at all your answers and what they tell you about your relationship/ sex life. If there is any hint that sex is being used for empowerment or negative reasons, think of ways that you can change that, as you may just be caught in a passion trap…
Mutual Masturbation Techniques
Mutual Masturbation for Foreplay and Sex
I often recommend mutual masturbation techniques to couples who don’t like to receive and give oral sex. You would probably assume that most women like to receive oral sex, but there are actually many that don’t like it. I was always interested in these women as surely any techniques that gives a woman a high chance of having an orgasm would be one that they would like, right? It was only when I asked around that I discovered that many women felt that there wasn’t any intimacy in oral sex as their partner was too far away to touch and kiss. For these couples and any other couples mutual masturbation can be a useful alternative.
Mutual Masturbation How to
Mutual masturbation techniques involve both partners on their knees with their bodies close together. While the woman strokes his penis, the man will usually find it easier to go for a clitoris orgasm. A G-spot orgasm and even a female ejaculation orgasm are possible if she leans back slightly to allow you access. While this is the basic position there are plenty of alternatives, such as mutually masturbating in different positions and my favorite penetrating her with just the tip of your penis and then mixing mutual masturbation with occasional thrusting.
Mutual masturbation has a lot of advantages for giving her emotional and physical stimulation as it can easily be adapted so that the two of you look into each others eyes as you do it. Likewise it can involve a lot of erotic kissing, which is one of the things that women often complain they don’t get enough of!
Mutual Masturbation Techniques
One of the big drawbacks is that a lot of people don’t know how to touch their partners correctly and end up either touching them too lightly (Women) or too roughly (Guys). A lot of these problems are learned when we masturbate ourselves. Therefore the first thing should be to look carefully for what touch and stimulation turns her on. This is especially true for people who want to give her a female ejaculation orgasm. Women often have the opposite problem, gently stroking where they should be a bit firmer.
One great technique is to link your hands with hers. Then as you touch yourself or her, you can each guide the other towards the way that you like to be touched. It can also be a fun way to experiment in a relaxed way with any ‘watching her masturbate’ fantasies if you have them!
The other problem with mutual masturbation techniques are that both women and men need a constant rhythm to orgasm. This can cause problems as it is easy to get put off your rhythm by the other person doing a good sex move. This can also be part of the fun too as you try to put each other off.
How to Female Ejaculation/ Squirt Orgasms
How to: Female Ejaculation. Squirt Orgasms for Better Sex
I can still remember the first time I gave a woman a female ejaculation squirt. Like other guys I was beginning to wonder if the all the how to/ female ejaculation guides were worth it or not. The problem was that I was too obsessed with technique and not letting myself just get into the female ejaculation/ squirt experience with the girls that I was with. It helped a lot that I made her relaxed and spent a lot of time on the foreplay. Then as she began to come to an orgasm I used some of the techniques from the how to. Female ejaculation can be tricky to achieve and at first it was just like a regular orgasm except there for the squelching noise because of how wet she was. I opened her legs as wide as they would comfortably go (Not essential, but does help) and began to increase my motion. Suddenly it happened, she gushed a clear liquid into the air. If you are interested in pleasing your woman and doing something that most guys can’t then female ejaculation/ squirt orgasms are definitely one of the most satisfying types of female orgasms for both of you.
There are a number of techniques that need to be mastered to give women a gushing orgasm. One of the most important is the hand motion. In the female ejaculation orgasm/ squirt article I wrote about the ‘come here’ technique that is a motion you can do with your hands to massively increase the chances of her achieving female ejaculation. Squirt orgasms come about from both good techniques and also good calibration to the individual woman.
Varying Speeds for Gushing Orgasms
G-spot orgasms require a similar technique to clitoris orgasms. At first you should go slowly, letting her get used to the feeling of having your fingers inside her. It is very difficult to have a G-spot quickie, so put some time aside! Lubrication is the most important thing here, so you want to apply a little more than you think you are going to need. This is really important as your hands are rough/ dry and not all women are wet enough the whole way through to guarantee an orgasm.
At first you will simply stroke the G-spot without any finger motion. Simply keep your fingers flat and move them backwards and forwards using your arm. All you are doing is looking to do is to discover exactly where feels good for her and how much pressure she likes. Slowly increase the speed and/ or pressure and always look to see what she responds to. As a general rule, guys are usually use too much pressure, so always be careful not to press too hard.
After this add in the ‘come here’ motion with your fingers. At first make it a slow motion going from the top to the bottom of the G-spot. At this time you should feel her getting wetter and this should start to hear how much wetter she has become, as her body will make a squelching sound. This is important as it indicates that she is about to go into female ejaculation. Squirt orgasms require you to know what rhythms and touch she likes. Remember in the previous step where we experimented to see what pressures and speeds felt best for her? Here is the time to use whichever one felt best and set up a consistent rhythm to make her orgasm.
You can increase the motion by using an arm whip motion here. As you bring your fingers into the curling motion, use your tricep to bend your elbow and make the motion. Once you have the correct angle and feeling you should then keep it steady until she orgasms. Keep stroking her even as she has the squirt-orgasm until she moves her body away from you.
There is one key thing to learn about using a orgasm how to: female ejaculation/ squirt orgasms are all a matter of getting yourself in tune with her as much as possible. Once you understand how she likes to be touched and stimulated, the road towards giving her great sex becomes a lot shorter. Soon you will be ready for ejaculation orgasms and beyond!
Surprising Techniques to Make a Woman Orgasm
Surprising Techniques to Make a Woman Orgasm
While most techniques to make a woman orgasm involve either clitoris orgasms or G-spot orgasms, there are also some surprising techniques that amaze the people that I guide. If you have read my book or my site for a while you will probably have heard me mention that when women are really turned on, their entire body acts as one giant erogenous zone. This is true especially at the point of orgasm, where many surprising areas can be stimulated to bring her to orgasm.
Breast Stimulation Orgasms
When sex researchers first heard that women could have orgasms from their breasts, they were skeptical. Traditional sexuality theories have long believed that what the teenage boy believes: that orgasms are entirely caused by one of the many erogenous zones between her legs! It is only now that we can see what is really going on using the latest brain-imaging techniques. To make a woman orgasm is more interesting than previously imagined.
When the nipples are stimulated and the clitoris is stimulated the brain seems to receive the sensory input from the nipples and the clitoris in a similar area. In some women the input from both can get confused and stimulating the nipples can sometimes lead to the stimulation being received as clitoral stimulation leading to an orgasm!
If think this is incredible, the sex scientist Alfred Kinsey documented people who were brought from arousal to orgasm by having their eyebrows stroked, teeth stimulation (A new definition to the words oral sex that few would believe!!!) and by their hair being grabbed! While these cases are rare, it does go to show that you can never predict what might turn a woman on.
What Turns Your Girl On?
The next time you have sex look carefully at your partner’s body language especially if they touch themselves or do any motion that is unusual during sex. She may be telling you a surprising technique to make her orgasm. Note the speed, location and strength of the motion then repeat a similar motion as they come to orgasm. It just might take her to places she never knew existed!
This is why I often talk about the importance to treating the whole body as one large female erogenous zone. The same techniques you would use to make a woman have an orgasm using clitoral stimulation should also be used for other kinds of sexual contact. Things like teasing, licking, biting, outercourse and sucking during foreplay should all be used during foreplay to really keep her excited. While none of these techniques will ever replace clitoral stimulation they are some useful ones to add to your growing list of techniques. Keep trying new things and you never know when you might find a new technique to make your woman orgasm.
