Becoming Orgasmic
Becoming Orgasmic: A Guide for When Your Girl Can’t Come
As most people know the female orgasm statistics make for surprising reading: 12 percent of women claim to have never had an orgasm in their entire lives; 75% have never orgasmed during penetrative intercourse. Notice a correlation? Yep, that’s right! Most women don’t orgasm during sex, but during the foreplay. Most guys know this of course, however what is not being said is also important: why do so few women orgasm during sex?
One key reason is that a lot of guys (And their women too!) get confused, thinking that all sex positions are created equally. The truth is they are not! Face-to-face positions tend to stimulate the clitoris, whereas rear-entry (Think doggy-style!) positions generally hit the G-spot. Others can hit other spots too. Therefore if your woman can’t come, simply making sure that both the foreplay and the sex positions target the same spot will help her in becoming orgasmic.
If your girl is up for it, it is a good idea to let you watch her masturbate, this will tell you exactly how she likes to be touched and that is one of the keys to becoming orgasmic: being in sync with her. Sex toys help too in the short term, however it is always better in the long term to make her orgasm with your body as it links her pleasure and the experience of becoming orgasmic to the two of you together, instead of to the toy.
External Factors
There are often external factors to be sorted out. This is when relationship management becomes all important. If your relationship is lacking, the emotional connection that leads to great orgasms will also be absent and there is no hope of her becoming orgasmic. Therefore it is probably best to go back to the basics and work on making sure that whatever kind of relationship you have is as strong as possible, whether you are sex friends or in a relationship.
While we are on the subject of talking, this is vital! Make sure that you make it okay for her to show you want turns her on. Never judge her for anything sexual. She needs to know that both of you are working together towards her becoming orgasmic. As I often say in my books, guys need to make sure that they are neither the ‘nice guy’ during sex (Who can only handle the emotional part) or the bad-boy (Who only has the physical side covered). The key to her becoming orgasmic is for you to get both roles handled!
Of course, the emotional problems may have nothing to do with you, which is why I often tell guys not to beat themselves up if their woman can’t come, as often it has nothing to do with them at all. If she has massive amounts of stress at work or is upset about something, she may not have the emotional resources to orgasm with you or she may need something else from sex other than an orgasm (Such as emotional release).
Of course, lifestyle is also important. A slim woman is great, but some women go too far and damage their health in the quest for the perfect figure. This is where emotional reassurance comes in handy, you can kill two birds with one stone if you let her know she is sexually attractive without going unhealthily thin. If her diet is terrible, she becoming orgasmic is impossible as her body would rather conserve energy. Similarly if she is barely awake or sick an orgasm is almost out of the question.
What She Can Do to Help Herself in Becoming Orgasmic
Women can do a lot of things by themselves to give themselves a higher chance of becoming orgasmic with their partner. When a woman can’t come, it is often due to not knowing her body well enough. It is okay to encourage your girl to experiment by herself: it does not have to involve masturbation, but it helps if she knows what feels good. You can add some intimacy to this, by interlinking your fingers with hers and letting her show you how she likes to be touched the next time you are together.
When she touches herself or you touch her, certain images will flash through her mind as she is about to orgasm, these help her come. These are called trigger images, some can be simple, others complicated (See Nancy Friday’s book My Secret Garden if you would like to learn how complex they can get!). She needs to also concentrate on those (Or even share them with you!) to help her in becoming orgasmic.
Kegel exercises are also vital, so if she does not perform them, they come highly recommended. They not only will be a huge help in becoming orgasmic, but will also allow her to prolong orgasm.
Conclusion
Helping a woman in becoming orgasmic can seem tough at first, but actually it is pretty simple. With these techniques you can explore a world of great sex together and enjoy the great bond that awesome sex creates.
